Thursday, September 23, 2010

Love................ What's that?

So I've met the man of my dreams. I know, I know, is it real? Well, I hope so. However, a friend of mine told me that considering my background, she feels that I don't know what it's like to be loved and feel loved. Another friend told me to stop sabotaging it!

Oh yeah! I'd forgotten! I'm in CULTURE SHOCK!

Actually, I never forget, although to be truly loved, or even semi truly loved, is something of a culture shock. Kind of like Annie when she's in the Orphanage. She's a tough cookie and protects everyone, while earning their love and respect. When Daddy Warbucks' assistant rescues her, she looks around the mansion in wonder. She soaks it all in, in case it's not real. She has no reason to trust this person, and no reason to NOT trust them either. She claims that the experience will last her a lifetime, just for those few moments in that house.

I can relate. Love is overwhelming and anxiety filled to me. I cherish it, adore it, and want it, but at the same time, the walls are there because it doesn't seem real. Love leaves some people feeling vulnerable and open to loads of heartache. It also heals completely, the broken, the dying, and those who simply aren't whole... if they allow it.

I guess you could say the bad thing about putting your heart out there is the risk factor. There's always a risk that your heart will get broken. If you're lucky, it's all unintentional. I don't think there are many who go around breaking hearts on purpose.......... except for that one guy, oh yeah, and that other one........ and probably a couple girls too.

Ok, I lied, BUT I would hope that they see the error of their ways and decide to go for the real and golden true love instead of the momentary love.

I call him my "Cabana Boy." I've always wanted one, and now all i'm missing is the tropical island. However, if we do get married, I'm sure he'll deliver on that, too. :)