Triggers

There are many good days anymore.  However, once in a while, there are some doozies, that end up turning into more than a day, but weeks.  There are events that happen to cause unwanted effects.  Mine are in the form of panic attacks, or anxiety if you will.  Many times, it's outright fear.

I went to a specialized group for abused women and learned many things.  I, along with some of the other girls, couldn't figure out why random emotions would hit.  We would have a good week, then BAM, complete devastation in one way or another.

The past week and a half have been that way.  Not sure exactly what triggered the emotions, but it apparently was enough to cause some issues.

I don't mind when people ask what happened, or what the abuse was.  However, there were so many instances of so many different natures, that it's hard to pinpoint it down to one instance.  For example, someone could touch me, and it would send me spinning into the reactions of a previous event.  Although, it takes a while to pinpoint exactly what the event was.  It's blocked somehow from memory, and all you know is the reaction you have, even though it doesn't make sense.  There are times that it happens with someone you love, and you can't figure out why it would happen.  The reaction doesn't make sense........

This week, I think it's time for another trip to my therapist to try to sort it out.  Another step of healing is apparently in the works, and demanding attention.