Figured it out..... That's half the battle.

I've been sooooooooo mean the past couple days.  TMI moment:  I blew it off as PMS.  However, I had a moment to think tonight and try to pinpoint why I felt so mean.  Life is hard.  Point Blank.  My kids are sick, I haven't felt the best, my kids would say, "as usual."  I have been eating, but my body has decided it hates me again.  All good reasons to be mean.  Add in financial issues, the impending holidays, and future mini-vacation with friends to avoid the loneliness of the holidays.  No reason to be mean at all.  

Then it hit me.  There was an episode recently that was perfect for sending a trigger.  It was a lack of respect from someone I respected greatly, even loved greatly.  Yet, this happened after it had been discussed before, and it was in front of my kids.... AGAIN.  Nothing happened to warrant severe action, but it still caused a mental/emotional response that's been very powerful.

It took me a week, to the day, but I figured it out.  The hardest thing about that, is knowing you feel off, yet not knowing why.  I've had several people ask me if I was ok, and I say yes.  I can't even begin to describe why I don't feel 100 % OK.

Now to figure out where to put the emotions and how to deal with them.  Does this part of healing from past and present always precede the food issue?  I have no idea, but I guess we'll find out.....

What I did learn was:

I have power to change a situation that made me uncomfortable.
 I also have to change the thinking errors that are already in process to prevent situations that make me uncomfortable from happening.  So much easier said than done.
I LOVE guacamole.  This is about the only food that sounds good and is worth the purchase.

 I'm hoping to process this during my mini-vacation.



More baby steps........